“[We're] not sure if Erotica is the right genre. Erotica, from our point of view, is to titillate so we are uncomfortable with publishing this particular piece in that category. Would you be happy for me to change the genre to Contemporary rather than Erotica […]? Contemporary is for modern-day, generally realistic life stories, which can venture into bleak territory and confront controversial issues.”

This message could be taken in a variety of different ways, some of which I have since pondered. On the one hand, it seems to suggest that ‘controversial issues’ don’t belong in Erotica; that Erotica is closer to Romance in that it should deal with largely happy situations and sensual sexuality, and therefore my story of prostitution and rape does not conform to that framework. This view could be based upon the idea that people read Erotica in order to be aroused, and that ‘controversial issues’ are not generally considered to be arousing. This, then, makes assumptions about what people find arousing, and for me that poses two problems. First of all, it is difficult because everyone has different arousal triggers. For some that socially acceptable sensuality may genuinely be the gateway to their sexuality; but for others – myself included – the transgression and difficulty of those ‘controversial issues’ may be far more intriguing. Secondly, if Erotica is there to cause arousal and has no place confronting its readers with conflict, then I would argue that the term ‘Erotica’ has become almost synonymous with ‘pornography’.

But I want to step back from Ether Books, because I believe this question is much larger than one company making a decision about genre, and, in fact, it may be that they consider stories on a piece-by-piece basis, and that ‘For a Few Dollars More’, which is a particularly gritty story, is simply a step too transgressive for their idea of Erotica – which may still contain some conflict and/or difficulty. To know where they really stand on that issue I – or you – would have to read a lot of what they publish as Erotica.

I also want to point out (once again) that I do not believe that literary, or contemporary, or conflict-ridden (whatever term you wish to use) Erotica is any better or worse than pornography. Pornography is a damn fine tradition, and takes very particular skills to create. This is not a matter of quality, but a matter of definition.

When I replied to Helen I wrote:

“That’s absolutely fine. I actually agree – as the genre stands, very little of my work fits under ‘Erotica’. […] I would be delighted to be placed elsewhere as, I agree, my writing doesn’t really belong there.”

And I stand by that. I think, in this case, Helen is completely right. And the problems with the Erotica genre are not about any one publisher or writer, they are deeply ingrained in the genre, and as it stands, Erotica unequivocally misrepresents my writing – and the writing of many brilliant authors.

With Erotica now very much in the public eye – spearheaded by that trilogy we will not name – it has also become synonymous with terms such as “Mummy Porn”, seeming to highlight the kind of literature published by Mills & Boon, and other similar companies. Generally speaking, these publishers are not dealing with conflict; drama and obstacles, yes, but not conflict. And my writing sure as hell does not fit in with this kind of literature. In fact, I would argue that, in terms of content – I am not making qualitative comparisons – ‘For a Few Dollars More’ is much closer to Vladimir Nabokov and Angela Carter than it is to Maya Banks and Michelle Reid.

There was a discussion on twitter a couple of weeks ago about creating a new genre, but this is so rife with problems, and just seems to open yet another erotic genre to exploitation. So, for myself, I am more than happy to be put into a genre titled Contemporary, because it does not set up as many assumptions about content, or emotional or sexual response. It simply puts my work in with other pieces that are difficult to define. And that suits me down to the ground, because as it stands, I don’t think Erotica has space for conflict, and I have no interest in writing without that kind of difficulty.

Genres may just be another form of labels, but they certainly bear thinking about, particularly when eroticism and (perhaps) arousal – two very intangible subjects – are involved. Because we cannot know what our readers consider erotic, but it is the job of publishers to label your work; after all, that’s how you sell it.

• • • • •

Despite the initial uncertainty about Ether Books displayed in this piece I actually recommend them quite highly. They are friendly, professional, and (most importantly, to me) unlikely to censor you for dealing with difficult subjects. That alone is pretty rare, and therefore precious, in the publishing world.

In order to purchase ‘For a Few Dollars More’, download the Ether Books app, and find Harper Eliot under Authors.

The post Why What I Write is Not Erotica appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

The evening itself was not without it’s hiccups, and I’ll admit that as the event went on and on, I did wonder if I had tried to pack just a little too much into one evening. But truth be told, I was very selective when I chose the readers, and I really feel that every one of them needed the space to voice their words, because they were all brilliant. Furthermore, whilst I have organised events before, I had never organised a reading night like this; so there was bound to be a little trial and error. Next time, I’m sure, I will pull it off with significantly more finesse.

Before I go onto the readers, I have to offer a huge thank you to our beautiful comperes, Miss Glory Pearl and Miss Maybe, from Wanton Words and Burlesque Bombshells, who, despite some technical difficulties and a few minor last minute changes, hosted the evening with incredible humour and showmanship. Having seen quite a lot of burlesque and cabaret over the past few years, I can attest to the fact that these two are amongst the best around; wickedly funny and unashamedly female, they really carried the night, and I am so glad we were able to have them. I strongly advise you all ‘like’ and ‘share’ their Facebook page; talent like this deserves to be known.

The readings were started off by Ruby Goodnight (@RubyGoodnight). Although I’ve never heard her read, I was confident that with her presence and her awareness she could easily handle this opening spot, and she did so magnificently.

Following her were the ever twisted, funny, and fairytale-like words of Janine Ashbless – who is also a brilliant reader. She read us some decadent troll sex from her novel Named and Shamed.

Third up was Lesley Mitchell (@dkscully). Funnily enough, I know Lesley mostly from being horribly beaten by her at Words with Friends. But beyond her Scrabble skills, she also writes very interesting and finely structured stories.

Yours truly had to follow a fantastic sketch called ‘Fifty Shades of Beige’ performed by Miss Glory Pearl, Miss Maybe and one accommodating (and overenthusiastic) volunteer. Although I couldn’t comment on how my reading was received, I did get that slightly uncomfortable hush I so enjoy from an audience.

Just before the break we heard some high class BDSM erotica from the stunningly latex-clad Ruby Kiddell (@eroticnotebook).

Coming back we were first treated to a brilliant control-underwear striptease from Miss Maybe, which I don’t think anyone will ever forget. Simply hilarious.

And then we were back to the readings, starting the second half with the gorgeous Molly Moore (@Mollysdailykiss), who read a piece of prose and a piece of poetry, both completely engrossing in their treatment of human nature and sexuality.

Molly was followed by the inimitable Ashley R. Lister (@ashleylister) with a couple of poems, including his wonderful piece Betty & I. I am so sorry that I missed his poetry writing session at the conference, as this is a man who truly knows his way around rhyme and structure. Staggeringly funny, and pleasingly poignant.

Kristina Lloyd (@kristina_lloyd) came next, with a delightfully bawdy tale from the collection Smart Ass (Annual Anal Erotica). (Say that out loud three times fast.)

Rounding up the readings was KD Grace (@KD_Grace) with a passage from her novel The Initiation of Miss Holly. Having heard KD read several times before, I was confident that she could leave the evening on a strong and teasing note.

We finished the acts with another quirky and unusual burlesque piece from Miss Glory Pearl. Who would have thought watching an old lady strip and offer extremely conservative sex to her husband could be so amusing?

Over the course of the evening, Miss Glory Pearl and Miss Maybe also ran a limerick-writing competition, which was well received and yielded these two winners:

Winner (Ian Jade – @jadeserotica)
I’m never a fella to brag,
But I look fucking awesome in drag,
With a plug made of glass
Nestled snug up my arse,
I’m a glamorous, cross-dressing slag

Dirtiest (Ashley J. Lister)
There once was a woman named Anya
Whose cunt was like an aircraft hanger.
But do not dismay,
The ending’s okay,
‘Cause her man’s hung like Findus lasagna.

Thank you so much to everyone who entered the competition and I hope Ian and Ashley enjoyed their nipple tassels and cucumber (respectively). (If any of the other participants still have their limericks, feel free to post them in the comments below; I’d love to see the others!)

Despite a slightly late start and longer evening than I had planned, it was full of entertainment and I am infinitely pleased with the feedback I have received so far. It was not an easy night, but it yielded an awful lot of wonderful work.

I want to say a big thank you to all the readers, our comperes, and everyone who came out to see us. I also have to thank the wonderful Dom Signs who kept me sane, sorted out the music, and offered me some relief on the tube home. (No, not like that. Perverts.)

The post Aural Sex, in review appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

And really, for those of us who have nurtured our love for Remittance Girl through novellas such as ‘Gaijin’ and ‘The Waiting Room’, and on short stories like ‘Click’ and ‘Pleasure’s Apprentice’ (the first story of hers I ever read), there is no denying that ‘Beautiful Losers’ is a departure. She has written pieces before that may be comparable in tone – the quickly written series ‘The Lepidopterists’ springs to mind – but really ‘Beautiful Losers’ seems to deal with a far less, for lack of a better word, mature set of characters than I usually expect from her. Her heroes and heroines often find themselves in emotional turmoil, but it tends to be over more immediate and more dramatic subjects, such as knife play or rape, whereas in ‘Beautiful Losers’ the reader is presented with a situation which may not be everyday, but is likely to be more familiar – and, perhaps, more desired – within our reality.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. ‘Beautiful Losers’ is the tale of two men – Sebastian and Jean – who bring, or attempt to bring, a single girl, Shira, into their relationship. Written from Shira’s point of view, the reader is taken through a series of emotional and sexual challenges as she delves into this new and somewhat unusual relationship.

In this excerpt, Shira joins Jean and Sebastian for breakfast after leaving Jean’s house, early, the morning after the three have first spent the night together:

It was called the Elbow Room because there was so little of it. Saturday mornings were almost impossible. You had to know someone who worked there to get a seat. Jean did: he was the food critic for the trendiest ‘what’s on’ magazine in town. His devoted readers had no idea who he was, or what he looked like. With Jean as the faceless master of culinary prose, I had made a number of off-colour jokes about the title of his weekly column, ‘Eating Out’.

Jean and Sebastian were perched on the chrome stools at the fifties-style counter with one empty seat between them. I handed my coat to a snippy waitress and made my way over.

‘Hi’ I said, hesitantly.

Jean glowered at me. ‘Sit down. We’re just an eensy-weensy bit upset with you right now. So just sit down.’

I did. Somehow, his bad temper made me feel better. Perhaps things were getting back to normal.

Or perhaps not. Jean snaked his hand into my lap and clasped it under the counter. ‘Why didn’t you wake us up, Shira?’

‘Give her a break. She was suffering from angst.’ Sebastian looked at me, dabbed the corners of his mouth with a napkin and smirked. ‘Isn’t that right, girl?’ he asked. After wiping his hands meticulously, he put the serviette down, grabbed my face in both hands and kissed me loudly, right next to my ear. ‘I told you I’d respect you in the morning, you luscious slut,’ he whispered, before swiping my cheek with the tip of his tongue.

This was a familiar sort of banter; it meant nothing. I tried to put on my most detached smile, but I know I didn’t manage it.

This may seem like an unusual excerpt for me to choose considering this is a novel situated, quite rightly, in the ‘erotic fiction’ genre, but anyone who has read Remittance Girl’s work before will know that she can write sex, and I do not need to show you just how well she does it. (For anyone who hasn’t read her work before, there is a plethora of stories for you to read here.) So I decided to find a section which displayed Shira’s narrative voice and the interaction between the characters. And really, this is where most of my struggles with the novel lie. The thing is, I have come to love, from Remittance Girl, a darker set of characters than these three, and phrases like “We’re just an eensy-weensy bit upset with you right now” do jar somewhat with my expectations. Furthermore, because Shira is our narrator, these kinds of playfully trivial phrases are littered through the text, not just confined to the dialogue. There is something, again for lack of a better word, immature about the characters and their interaction when I consider the novel within the context of Remittance Girl’s other work. Overall, it simply seems less eloquent.

But here’s why I struggled: although – I think! – the ages of the three protagonists are never made explicit, through their interactions and personalities I quickly drew them in my mind as being in their twenties. (Perhaps other readers will see them differently, but that’s where they sat in my imagination.) Given their youthfulness, the immaturity of the language seems entirely appropriate. We are seeing this situation through Shira’s inexperienced eyes, and for all my pondering over tone, I cannot deny that her voice is exactly as it should be. In fact I would describe this as a character-driven novel, and all three characters are impeccably drawn. I can find no fault, with their attitudes or tone of voice in the context of the story. Furthermore, through the course of the novel Shira, Jean and Sebastian encounter a series of struggles (over Shira’s emotional difficulty with being part of a threesome, and Jean’s hesitancy about anal sex, amongst other things) and as they move through these difficulties, the characters remain intact. What I mean is that whereas in other novels, characters are often thrown from their course and their own personalities by the things that happen to them, here they react and progress exactly as they should, and in precisely the ways we may observe in the real world. Okay, yes, there is something unusual and perhaps even a little wish-fulfillment-esque about Sebastian’s extreme wealth and the freedom that affords them, but this didn’t really bother me as it was incorporated seamlessly into the body of the story.

Nevertheless, and perhaps this is simply a reflection of my own preferences, whilst I was in the midst of the action, I didn’t feel as rapt as I did when I was reading (for example) ‘Gaijin’, because the characters weren’t dealing with a situation as dramatic or difficult as the protagonist in ‘Gaijin’. Every now and then there was a small part of me that wished Shira could just come to terms with the situation and fully give herself to the pleasure of being in a relationship with two men. Equally, there were moments when I felt that Sebastian slipped into the slightly unrealistic; that is not to say he ever dropped his attitude or character, but simply that I found some moments less believable than others.

However, without giving anything away, I do need to take a moment to discuss the end of the novel. Endings can be extraordinarily difficult to write, especially when it comes to novel-length fiction, and it is very rare that the end of a story will change how I feel about the story as a whole. But the ending of ‘Beautiful Losers’ did. The events that close the novel, whilst not wholly unexpected, do change the situation dramatically, and it was the way in which Shira reacted and dealt with this shift that really brought home for me how exquisitely these characters are drawn. For me, the characters found their redemption in this ending by reacting with quiet, but honest emotion. And that really was striking to read.

‘Beautiful Losers’ is an extremely well written novel, and it may be that any reservations I have about the tone of Shira’s voice and her interactions with Jean and Sebastian are wholly subjective, and based on my own preconceptions; but truthfully I doubt this will be a novel that I revisit in the way I have revisited Remittance Girl’s other work. It simply doesn’t speak to me on the level that ‘Gaijin’ or ‘The Waiting Room’ do. However, it would be remiss of me not to point out that I am only comparing ‘Beautiful Losers’ with Remittance Girl’s other work; if I consider it in the wider canon of erotic fiction, it is something of a masterpiece. Remittance Girl is an exceptional writer, and for anyone who can find a deeper affinity with Shira, Jean and Sebastian I would expect this novel to have a far more profound effect.

Although not without its flaw, ‘Beautiful Losers’ is a heart-rending portrait of three people trying to navigate the difficulties of an alternative relationship. And, if I’m honest, I didn’t really want to put it down.

• • • • •

‘Beautiful Losers’ is currently available as an ebook from Amazon UK and Amazon US. If you would like to read more of Remittance Girl’s work, you can do so on her site: remittancegirl dot com.

The post Review: ‘Beautiful Losers’ (Remittance Girl) appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

But perhaps that’s too big a challenge anyway. I would bend to kiss the feet of the person who can give three, four, five hours of discussion to each individual they meet who has misunderstood or misinterpreted what it means to be dominant, or submissive, or sadistic, or masochistic, or any variation and combination of the above; but I am not this person. Don’t get me wrong: when it comes to the people I love, my friends and, well, perhaps my family from the right angle, I will give it the time it takes to help them understand me and my life. But with near-strangers, I would prefer to order another G&T and discuss Tuesday’s episode of The New Normal.

Which brings me to two points: one, it is a gift beyond anything I have known to meet people who just understand. The conversation begins and it hits that moment, and there is no snag, no pause, just understanding. Of course, you will never completely agree with anyone, but there is a place of harmony where you don’t have to explain where you’re sitting, you can simply discuss what you see – because this other person sees it too. Maybe they don’t completely agree with your analysis, but they see it. Secondly, whilst the individual, micro-explaining that I described above may not be my chosen course of action, I still believe that a broader, more open discussion can bring people round to, not the same point of view as you, but a similar one, and certainly a lot more acceptance.

Which is why I am so thrilled that my dear friend Molly – who, incidentally, is one of those people with whom I just understand, without explanation – is running a session at Eroticon titled Myth Busting: the submissive woman. As part of her preparation for this session, she has asked her readers to answer a few questions about the imbalance between how submission manifests and how that is represented or misrepresented in the world.

And so Molly asks…

What are the top 5 myths/beliefs you would like to dispel about submissive women?
(I only have four, but they are closely interwoven.)

The main thing I would like to dispel is the myth that because I am a fiercely independent, strong-headed, ambitious, and – yes – dominant woman when it comes to my work, I am not really submissive. Anyone who has actually seen me submit will know that I truly am, at my core, submissive.

This first myth goes hand-in-hand with my second point: that a real submissive should be submissive to everyone. In reality – and this is true for 99% of the submissives I have met – the list of people I will submit to is a drop in the ocean of people I will not submit to.

The third belief I would like to dispel is actually more prevalent within the community than out of it: this is the infuriating belief that a true submissive will never say no to his/her dominant. That in order to really be submissive you have to agree to let down all your boundaries and agree to everything and anything you are told to do.

This also mixes with the fourth belief I would like to address: that safewords are unnecessary. People are allowed to play in whatever way they wish, but I am a strong believer in safewords and I am no less submissive for having one.

As a submissive woman, use up to 5 words to describe you or your submission.
The complete corruption of innocence.

In erotic fiction what are the most common ‘wrongs’ you come across that don’t work for you as a submissive woman?
My pet hate with all fiction is characters – but particularly female characters – who are so full of self-doubt and neuroses that it overwhelms all sense of agency. Whilst it could be argued that the reason this trope is used so often is that it is only a slightly exaggerated reflection of the truth for many people, it does not apply to everyone. Furthermore, it is a character flaw attributed all too often to submissive, female characters. Given our socialised understanding of a submissive woman as someone who requires a leader (and in some ways that can be true) it’s easy to understand why the submissive woman might be read as a character who cannot lead herself. The problem with this, for me, is that most of the submissive women I know actually have a very strong sense of self, often because they have had to look very deeply at themselves in terms of their submission.

If you could ask a submissive woman any question, what would it be?
This question is tricky for me because I know a lot of submissive women and have asked them many questions. But the main thing I always want to know is how her submission manifests for her. How it feels to be submissive, and what physical form it takes in terms of the actions and sexuality she lives. Because I know that it does not mean over-the-knee spanking for everyone, and even when it does, that still may not be at its core.

If you could as ME (Molly) any question, what would it be?
This question is even trickier because I am fortunate enough to be very close to Molly and I have asked her numerous burning questions this week alone. However, I do have a question I would like to ask publicly: what, from your point of view, is the best thing we – submissive women and the men and women we love – can do to help society better understand what it means to be submissive?

• • • • •

If you haven’t got your ticket for Eroticon 2013, it is not too late! Simply visit the site here and register for your weekend ticket.

And if you are coming to Eroticon on March 2nd-3rd, be sure to come and support Molly and the other delegates who are offering a free evening of erotic readings and cabaret. More information here.

The post Answer Time: the curious state of submission appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

Name:

Twitter ID: @HarperEliot

Must attend Eroticon 2013 session: Gosh – there are quite a few! but one I’m particularly looking forward to is Polyamory 101 with Lori Smith and Amanda Jones.

Bloggers you’d like to be trapped in a lift with: How big is this lift? Lori Smith, Zoe Margolis, Remittance Girl, and Molly Moore. (Assuming Miss Kiddell would be present over the intercom, seeings as this is her event.)

Erotic writer you’d like to dramatize your life story: Oh! Remittance Girl. Undoubtedly.

Expected bigest fangirl/fanboy moment: I feel blessed that this is a difficult decision to make simply because I have met so many of the wonderful people who will be at Eroticon. But if I can elbow my way to Cindy Gallop I will. I’m also really looking forward to meeting Justin Hancock.

What keeps you awake at nights? My never-ending to do list, impending coursework deadlines, addictive TV shows, and, I’ll be honest, men – although, I hasten to add, almost always in a positive, if distracting, light.

• • • • •

I have actually been meaning to write about Eroticon for a while now but due to those impending coursework deadlines and deliciously distracting men, I’ve had trouble finding the time to do it. Nevertheless, better late than never, and for those of you who aren’t down to attend yet tickets are still available here! So if you want to mingle with some of the finest talent in sex blogging and erotic fiction, Eroticon 2013 awaits you!

Last year Eroticon proved to be so much greater than the sum of its parts. Between excellent seminars and thought-provoking panels I met more people than I can remember (off the top of my head), and came away with not only a long list of new connections, but months worth of writing material. Inspiring and endlessly informative, Ruby Kiddell pulled off something that we were in great need of – and this year is looking to be even better.

I also want to mention that I am organising an evening of erotic readings on the Saturday night. I would be thrilled to see you all there, and I can promise some truly wonderful entertainment set in an atmospheric venue complete with alcoves and alcohol. Watch out for more details coming very soon.

Please do leave me a comment and say hello, and I will see you all in March! – that is, if I can get my coursework done by then, of course.

See who else is coming to Eroticon 2013 in the Meet & Greet link up

The post Eroticon 2013 Meet’n'Greet etc. appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #38? Start with the newly updated rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ Top 3 ~

Coming to Terms with Being Gay – From the time I was seven I was raised Mormon, which meant I wasn’t allowed to have a girlfriend until I was 16 or to have sex until I was married.

What I Want – I want to be humiliated. Call me a slut. Call me a whore. Slap my face. Expose me.

Dinner Party Entertainment – At that moment, J’s eyes went wide–he finally realized I was leaving him there, tied to the bed.

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

My Abstinence Only “Sex Education” – The speakers were a married, Christian couple, and the man told us about how he had pledged to stay a virgin until he was married.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Your Crappy Writing Turns Me Off – Your written words are your clothes, your power, your voice, your facial expressions and that by which we measure intelligence, personality and even attractiveness.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A New Found Respect for Bondage Educators
Cunt: Healing sexual abuse
Equal but Different
Fuck you. Without a condom
Harper Eliot’s Guide to Surviving Drop Alone
PolyAnna’s Musings: What About the Kids
Settling down–bullshit free

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Sweet Valley High Meets the Story of Oh My!
Women’s rape fantasies
Why May is Nat’l Masturbation Month

Erotic Writing

Ache
A Word on What Your Words Do to Me
Anything the Lady Wants
Breathless
Cemetery Sex
Dropped Call
Fucking a Stranger’s Wife While He Watched
Folly, part 4
Getting His Attention
Jerk and Tug
Jill’s Look Back at Masturbation Month
Like a Faggot
Phontographs (fiction, part 1)
Release
Senses and Scents
Spearmint Rhino
Swing: Part I
The Dance
Touch Me, Tease Me

Kink & Fetish

Earning My Wings
fantasy with beast/the train ride
His first crop spanking
Learn the rope of knots: Larks Head
Popping my anal cherry
Stress Relief
Staying power
The Cutting Edge
Tie Me Up! ~ I think…
Why chastity is hot
What I Like and Why

The post e[lust] #37 appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

Having read Fifty Shades of Grey, Remittance Girl concluded that the D/s aspect of writing, perhaps comes through not so much in the acts portrayed, as in the language used to describe them. I came to a similar conclusion when I reviewed the book. Based on this theory, RG set a challenge: write the same piece of erotic fiction twice, the first time as a vanilla scene, and the second time as a D/s scene. Challenge accepted.

Vanilla
They stumbled out of the bar, beer bubbles still tickling their nostrils, giggling into each other’s slung arms as they made their way down the glistening street. The air was brisk, nipping at her exposed shoulders, but she didn’t notice, through her alcohol-warm haze. One hand on her hip, he led her back to his flat and helped her over the threshold, still giggling.

Ten minutes later they were towel dried and a little subdued on the sofa. She let him kiss her brow and her jawline, and he reached into her top to run the tips of his fingers over her hardening nipple.

“I’d like to fuck you” He murmured, kissing her neck, trailing his tongue behind her ear.

She smiled, biting her lip, and nodded carefully.

Pressing together, she grew wet against him and he pulled her up, peeling the clothes off her body and holding her in his firm hands. As his lips traced patterns along her neck and across her shoulders, she was bent over the back of the sofa, hands exploring the convex of her arse. Breathless with need, he parted her thighs and pressed the heated head of his cock against her soaked sex.

• • • • •

Kinked
They stumbled out of the bar, beer bubbles still tickling their nostrils, giggling into each other’s slung arms as they made their way down the glistening street. The air was brisk, nipping at her exposed shoulders, but she didn’t notice, through her alcohol-warm haze. One hand on her hip, he steered her back to his flat and guided her over the threshold, still giggling.

Ten minutes later they were towel dried and a little subdued on the sofa. He kissed her brow and her jawline, and reached into her top to tease her hardening nipple between the tips of his deft fingers.

“I’m going to fuck you,” He said, biting her neck, trailing his pointed tongue behind her ear.

She shivered, catching her lip between her teeth, and nodded understanding.

Pulling her against him, he felt her grow wet and sat her up on her knees, ripping the clothes from her body and holding her in his firm hands. As his nails traced patterns along her neck and across her shoulders, he bent her over the back of the sofa, fingers pressing into the soft flesh of her arse. Growling with need, he parted her thighs and forced the heated head of his cock against her dripping cunt.

The post Vanilla/Kinked appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

This problem is not exclusive to erotic fiction; you can find people citing fiction as the author’s opinion across all genres of writing; I recently saw someone cite Wordsworth’s The Prelude as Wordsworth’s beliefs, and no one who read the article questioned this assertion. When I started studying Chaucer one of the things I had drummed into my head was that Chaucer’s narrators are always unreliable. Whilst we can speculate that perhaps a particular character might represent the author – Prospero in Shakespeare’s The Tempest springs to mind – we, as readers, can never be certain that this was the author’s intention, nor that he is representing himself correctly. When reading novels we really do have to remember, at all times, that we are reading fiction. Certainly, writers may use fiction to forward their own agenda, or to make a wider point, but still we can never safely place our trust in the voice of our narrators. (It is also notable to remark that many of the greatest narrators are highly unreliable; and that this unreliability really has no impact on the quality of the writing.)

Of course, it is near impossible to say that no narrators reflect their creators’ true feelings, but there is good evidence to show that writers by and large are not writing from their own points of view: first of all, writing candidly as yourself is extremely difficult. There will almost certainly be something a writer will wish to obscure or change about himself. Then of course there is the fact that most authors write in a variety of different voices through many characters during their careers, which makes the idea that narrator and author are one very difficult. Furthermore, anyone who has written for a significant amount of time will know that the desire to inhabit and speak as someone other than himself is almost synonymous with the desire to write itself.

In any case, it seems highly likely that most writers of transgressive fiction have pondered how it will be read, and worried that their fiction might be cited as their own views; I certainly have.

The saying “write what you know” might be a good suggestion for beginners and for those struggling for inspiration, but it would be extremely naïve to assume that all writers are writing what they know. The truth is that, like everything human, the best we can do is observe trends, and carefully cite generalisations on these kinds of things. What seems perfectly true to me is that a writer does not have to be twisted to write a twisted story; he doesn’t not have to be female to write from a woman’s perspective; he does not have to have experienced torture in order to describe it. (In some cases it might help, but it is not necessary.)

But the belief that writers write what they know and from their own perspective means that often, when erotic fiction is read, the reader understands what is written as either something the author has experienced, or something the author wants to experience. What many readers fail to discern is that a writer may be challenging himself. Recently someone suggested to me that writing something you never want to do is a very good exercise. In fact, when I consider my own writing, the only time I wrote pieces which I would have liked to live out in their entirety was when I was a virgin, because at that point most of my writing about sex was aspirational, but even that is a dangerous generalisation as not all the pieces I wrote as a virgin were aspirational.

Perhaps I am selling readers a little short; there is also a very good argument for the idea that erotic fiction authors are writing to arouse and thus their writing must be something they desire; this goes along with the argument that a writer must be aroused by what he is writing in order for it to arouse anyone else. Perhaps erotic fiction is a genre wherein there is a higher percentage of writing written out of the author’s own desires and experiences. However, this is only true if we A) believe that a writer must be aroused by what he writes in order for it to arouse others, and B) that a particular writer’s intention was, indeed, to arouse. These assertions are also difficult; more often than not, neither are true when it comes to my own writing; I receive extremely sexual/aroused feedback on pieces it did not arouse me to write, and I rarely write with the intention to arouse. Having said that, I know writers for whom both of these facts are true. What I am trying to pinpoint is the unreliability of reading on these assumptions.

For the most part it seems that the confusion between author and voice is due to a lack of awareness and a willingness to be carried, thoughtlessly, through the narrative. It would seem like a stretch to say that readers, for the most part, read erotic fiction and, through in-depth thought, come to the conclusion that the writing is autobiographical or aspirational. It seems far more likely that readers simply don’t question the ‘I’ in relation to the author.

Unfortunately this problem shows no signs of abating, and personally, due to the nature of some of my own erotic fiction, it is probably the main reason I choose to remain anonymous. If we, as writers, could be sure that all our readers would accept our words on the assumption that they are probably wholly fictional and the understanding that a writer can be a perfectly reasonable, sensible and even happy human being and also write extremely dark and transgressive stories, I for one would be far more open about who I am and what I write. As it is, the fact that someone might read any one of my more transgressive stories and assume that what I’ve written is what I want, is worrying. Worse still if someone then used that assumption to falsely represent me. Of course, putting anything you create into the public domain means you will be scrutinised whether you wish to be or not, but I feel that the least we as creatives can do is contemplate and attempt to marginalise the damage it may cause.

The post Voice and the Author appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

First of all, I had never consciously drawn such a clear line between sex bloggers, and erotic writers. It seems obvious, of course, but between twitter and writing prompts we all seem to get mixed in with each other quite a lot. And further than that, there are in fact three realms: sex blogging, erotic writing, and sex journalism.

I’m defining them as follows:
• Sex blogging: autobiographical writing about the author’s sex life.
• Erotic writing: fiction, stories, poems, etc..
• Sex journalism: articles about sex in a social and/or political light.

Whilst many blogs skip between the three, or (more commonly) between two of the three, most seem to have a primary purpose: Frisky in the 916 is primarily a sex blog, but it also contains much of the other two; Remittance Girl is driven by erotic fiction, but she also writes about sex in terms of social trends and politics.; and Rachel Rabbit White is a sex journalist, but like many in that field she slips into autobiography from time to time.

This blog started as erotic fiction, then enjoyed a brief and horrible stint as an autobiographical sex blog, before returning to erotic fiction and finally bringing in some journalism as well. However, being an exhibitionist there has always been a certain allure, for me, in moments of autobiography – particularly in the blurbs I posted with my photography. As much as I enjoy having little pieces of myself here, I always felt that was where my blog was weakest. And if I ever wrote well about myself*, that writing and my photographs changed the intention of my blog overall. In short, my own sex blogging is something I find deeply dissatisfying, and that is a large part of the reason you can no longer see me naked here.

Conversely, whilst Eroticon raised my awareness of the divide between different kinds of sex writers, it also made me realise just how much we need one another’s support. In the end, we are all writing about sex, and that is what most of the world finds controversial. We really can’t afford to divide into camps; we all need to fight for our right to discuss sex without abuse or discrimination. Fortunately, there doesn’t seem to be any question about that: at Eroticon Ruby Kiddell gave us all something, and brought us together perfectly.

However, the realisations didn’t end with similarities and differences. The aforementioned panel combined with the Sex and the media debate also brought the point of anonymity and identity to the surface of my consciousness. I have always been on the verge of coming out, whilst also keeping my blog URL away from my every day life. It’s always been a case of “they probably won’t find me, but if they do, it’ll be fairly obvious”. Until Eroticon I was pretty satisfied with this state of affairs. But I would like my status to rise as a writer. I would like to be published. And as soon as I do that, I up the stakes, which is the second reason for my sudden disappearance.

But this issue does not end with me hiding my face and deciding not to write about my life. For me, and (as Eroticon proved) for many others, there is a question of ethics.

I think I speak for all sex writers when I say I wish I lived in a world where I could safely and happily be out about the nature and content of my work here. Unfortunately we all have good reasons to hide behind our pseudonyms and false identities. There is so much more to our lives than just what we write, and more often than not the pressure of protecting those other parts of ourselves is considerable. But, of course, by hiding our true identities we are, whether we wish to or not, perpetuating the need to do just that.

It takes a brave human being to come out as a sex writer, no matter which of my three categories they dwell in, and I feel fairly certain that in order to fight the stigma, we are going to have to start coming out sooner or later. But at present, for most of us, the cost is simply too high.

As for myself, personally? At the moment, if I came out, it would cause ripples in more lives than just mine, and until my situation is lower risk, I really feel that I need to keep my identity hidden. However, I can’t imagine maintaining this for the rest of my life. My writing is too big a part of me for it to be forever partitioned off under a pseudonym.

Meanwhile, I imagine, the inner turmoil shall continue.

(*Yes, I am aware of how ironic it is to write about myself not writing about myself.)

The post The Pseudonym Problem appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

Oh where do I begin!

Like many of the people who could be found at Armada House, Bristol on Saturday 3rd March, I had been looking forward to Eroticon 2012 for close to a year. That is quite some build up! And with the amount of hype and excitement that preceded it, the bar was high.

Organised, hosted, run, (and many other verbs) by Ruby Kiddell, the day was divided into sessions, the topics of which ranged from Identity and Ethics, to Publishing, to Photography, to Podcasting, to Writing itself – the whole schedule is still up on the site for the time being, – and between which there was plenty of time to meet and talk to the other delegates.

I personally attended: Identity, ethics and sex blogging (Zoe Margolis, Lori Smith, Molly Moore, Mina Lamieux), Writing workshop (Maxim Jakubowski), Convincingly queer, writing beyond our experience (Aisling Weaver, Josephine Myles), Publishers panel (Hazel Cushion, Maxim Jakubowski, Paul Andrews, Monique Roffey, Richard Eadie), and Sex and the media (Lori Smith, Zoe Margolis, Rubyyy Jones, Matt Bateman).

All of the sessions either brought up topics which I will discuss in articles to come, or provided me with insights which I hope will enhance my writing in general.

The day ended, for everyone, with a demonstration from London Faerie on Sacred Kink, wherein he “whipped [Lori Smith] into a state of ecstasy’; I’m paraphrasing but I believe that is how he himself described it. After a day of thought-provoking discussion and debate, this was not only an incredible experience, but also a welcome relief. But I don’t think anyone quite expected what they saw. Watching the demonstration was deeply affecting, not to mention the intensity of sharing that experience with the rest of the audience. The whole room took on a strange kind of quiet focus wherein we were all drawn into their connection and what they were, so kindly, sharing with us. I think also, on a more political level, it is always good when a large number of people are able to see the consent, the intimacy, and the enjoyment of both parties when they engage in this kind of socially transgressive play.

As I have mentioned, Eroticon not only sparked great discussion and ideas, but brought a lot of people together, and I was thrilled to meet so many erotic artists whom I have admired, followed, and read for so long: I was thrilled to meet Aisling Weaver and Wyeth Bailey and get, well, never enough, but a significant amount of time to talk with them. It was also a delight to meet the illustrious Mina Lamieux. Of course, many of the usual Erotic Meet crowd were there, which is always a delight, and I also spent a lot of the day with the people behind Something Dark magazine – to which you can now find a permanent link in my sidebar. There were so many people there, many of whom I am now sharing my twitter timeline and my email inbox with, that I couldn’t possibly name them all now! but if you visit Write Sex Right, you will find links to many of their own accounts of Eroticon.

As I left Bristol, riding back to London late on Saturday night, one phrase continued to circle in my head: “Eroticon needed to happen”. It needed to happen because you can never have too much support and inspiration as a writer; it needed to happen because erotic writers need an excuse to get together; and most of all it needed to happen because we are all writing outside what is socially accepted. We are all pushing boundaries and making use of our freedom of speech. And to see so many other people in exactly the same situation as ourselves was empowering, inspiring, and incredibly comforting. I have never felt so at home with a group of strangers.

Finally, I would like to raise a metaphorical toast to Ruby: Eroticon went far beyond any expectation. It was perfectly organised, allowing us all room to grow and learn. A spectacular event, hosted with professionalism and style. My mind is still reeling. And I sincerely hope that it happens again. To Ruby!

The post Eroticon 2012 In Review appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).