As many of you may know, I am trying to raise money in order to get myself across the pond to Atlanta for Eroticon USA in October. I have already received some amazing donations from readers and friends, for which I am incredibly grateful! Thank you!

I am doing my best to save money myself, but between studying and part-time work, it simply won’t be possible for me to raise the full amount without a little help. In Atlanta I will be able to support my good friend Ruby as she takes her amazing conference to America, as well as meet – for the first time! – some writers I have been talking to for years. In addition to this, I have never been to the US, and feel that Eroticon is the best excuse I could possibly have for my first trip there!

I feel incredibly touched by the donations I have already received, and in light of my gratitude, I would like to offer a little something to anyone who is able to offer me financial support. Whether your donation is large or small, I would like to say thank you, and am offering short pieces of personalised erotica as a token of my gratitude.

I’ve noticed that most people prefer to donate anonymously, so that names don’t appear on my GoFundMe page, so, here’s how it will work: if you are able to donate and would like to support my trip, please do so; and if you have already, it’s not too late to take me up on this offer! Once your donation has gone through (which should be immediate), email me on harper (at) itgirlragdoll dot com, with a little proposal of what you would like in terms of erotica. You can be as specific or as general as you like; if you’re a long time reader and would like a copy of a story that was formerly published on my site, that may be possible; or I may be able to send you a paperback copy of Strummed; or if you would just like something new, but don’t have any specifications about it, I can create something for you; or if you have a very good idea of what you would like me to write, I can do that too!

As I’ve said above, the idea of this is simply for me to show my gratitude towards anyone who donates, therefore I won’t be counting words per penny, or anything like that. However, if you do make a large donation (£50 or upwards), I would be more than happy to offer you something longer and/or more detailed. I am also more than happy to cater to unusual or interesting kinks or fetishes.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I will mention that I am currently in the midst of a heavy load of coursework and exam revision, therefore, until the end of May, any pieces requested may take me a little time. However, once we hit June, I should be able to offer a pretty hasty service, and anything I have not managed to do by then, will be my top priority.

It really would mean the world to me if I was able to make it to Atlanta in October, so if you can, please do donate. And I promise to bring back as much Eroticon USA information, experiences, soundbites and reflections as I can possibly manage!

Much love and thank you all,
Harper xx

The post A Token of Gratitude: Send Me to Eroticon USA! appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

It is a collection of micro-fiction, edited by Ruby Kiddell, and featuring the work of Lori Smith, Aisling Weaver, Heather Day, Kay Jaybee, Blacksilk, Janine Ashbless, Mina Lamieux, Molly Moore, and myself. It’s just a little thing, but full of teasing fantasies, and lascivious thoughts to keep close at hand.

My story – Neat Little Rows – is extremely atypical for me, but hopefully it will still tickle you in the right ways. A very interesting piece for my first published story, if you ask me.

The post Dirty thoughts from the back of the room appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

The evening itself was not without it’s hiccups, and I’ll admit that as the event went on and on, I did wonder if I had tried to pack just a little too much into one evening. But truth be told, I was very selective when I chose the readers, and I really feel that every one of them needed the space to voice their words, because they were all brilliant. Furthermore, whilst I have organised events before, I had never organised a reading night like this; so there was bound to be a little trial and error. Next time, I’m sure, I will pull it off with significantly more finesse.

Before I go onto the readers, I have to offer a huge thank you to our beautiful comperes, Miss Glory Pearl and Miss Maybe, from Wanton Words and Burlesque Bombshells, who, despite some technical difficulties and a few minor last minute changes, hosted the evening with incredible humour and showmanship. Having seen quite a lot of burlesque and cabaret over the past few years, I can attest to the fact that these two are amongst the best around; wickedly funny and unashamedly female, they really carried the night, and I am so glad we were able to have them. I strongly advise you all ‘like’ and ‘share’ their Facebook page; talent like this deserves to be known.

The readings were started off by Ruby Goodnight (@RubyGoodnight). Although I’ve never heard her read, I was confident that with her presence and her awareness she could easily handle this opening spot, and she did so magnificently.

Following her were the ever twisted, funny, and fairytale-like words of Janine Ashbless – who is also a brilliant reader. She read us some decadent troll sex from her novel Named and Shamed.

Third up was Lesley Mitchell (@dkscully). Funnily enough, I know Lesley mostly from being horribly beaten by her at Words with Friends. But beyond her Scrabble skills, she also writes very interesting and finely structured stories.

Yours truly had to follow a fantastic sketch called ‘Fifty Shades of Beige’ performed by Miss Glory Pearl, Miss Maybe and one accommodating (and overenthusiastic) volunteer. Although I couldn’t comment on how my reading was received, I did get that slightly uncomfortable hush I so enjoy from an audience.

Just before the break we heard some high class BDSM erotica from the stunningly latex-clad Ruby Kiddell (@eroticnotebook).

Coming back we were first treated to a brilliant control-underwear striptease from Miss Maybe, which I don’t think anyone will ever forget. Simply hilarious.

And then we were back to the readings, starting the second half with the gorgeous Molly Moore (@Mollysdailykiss), who read a piece of prose and a piece of poetry, both completely engrossing in their treatment of human nature and sexuality.

Molly was followed by the inimitable Ashley R. Lister (@ashleylister) with a couple of poems, including his wonderful piece Betty & I. I am so sorry that I missed his poetry writing session at the conference, as this is a man who truly knows his way around rhyme and structure. Staggeringly funny, and pleasingly poignant.

Kristina Lloyd (@kristina_lloyd) came next, with a delightfully bawdy tale from the collection Smart Ass (Annual Anal Erotica). (Say that out loud three times fast.)

Rounding up the readings was KD Grace (@KD_Grace) with a passage from her novel The Initiation of Miss Holly. Having heard KD read several times before, I was confident that she could leave the evening on a strong and teasing note.

We finished the acts with another quirky and unusual burlesque piece from Miss Glory Pearl. Who would have thought watching an old lady strip and offer extremely conservative sex to her husband could be so amusing?

Over the course of the evening, Miss Glory Pearl and Miss Maybe also ran a limerick-writing competition, which was well received and yielded these two winners:

Winner (Ian Jade – @jadeserotica)
I’m never a fella to brag,
But I look fucking awesome in drag,
With a plug made of glass
Nestled snug up my arse,
I’m a glamorous, cross-dressing slag

Dirtiest (Ashley J. Lister)
There once was a woman named Anya
Whose cunt was like an aircraft hanger.
But do not dismay,
The ending’s okay,
‘Cause her man’s hung like Findus lasagna.

Thank you so much to everyone who entered the competition and I hope Ian and Ashley enjoyed their nipple tassels and cucumber (respectively). (If any of the other participants still have their limericks, feel free to post them in the comments below; I’d love to see the others!)

Despite a slightly late start and longer evening than I had planned, it was full of entertainment and I am infinitely pleased with the feedback I have received so far. It was not an easy night, but it yielded an awful lot of wonderful work.

I want to say a big thank you to all the readers, our comperes, and everyone who came out to see us. I also have to thank the wonderful Dom Signs who kept me sane, sorted out the music, and offered me some relief on the tube home. (No, not like that. Perverts.)

The post Aural Sex, in review appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

Please send audio files and written reviews to harper (at) itgirlragdoll dot com. Thank you!

Posts about and reviews of Eroticon 2013 are already springing up everywhere and I think it’s safe to say that even if it wasn’t all your cup of tea, everyone had a spectacularly inspiring and thought-provoking weekend. With a year’s build-up, this second round at Eroticon had a lot to live up to, and I’m happy to say it surpassed 2012 in almost every way.

Before I go on to my comments about the sessions I attended, I will say that it was a weekend that showed how much truth there is in that old saying: ‘Nothing worth having comes easy’. Despite how wonderfully inspiring it was, and how overwhelmingly happy I felt throughout the vast majority of the weekend, it was by no means easy. Running on adrenaline for 48 hours plus, I began to feel my armour slipping, and by Sunday night my emotions and my nerves were raw – as if the skin had been peeled from my body and the slightest touch of my red exterior would send me screaming. But the reason I ended up feeling this raw is just too wonderful to ignore and I would – will! – do it again and again, year after year, because I think it is that important: at Eroticon, I found comradeship, new friends, old friends; I realised just how much some people mean to me, and I felt truly accepted. I didn’t need the armour, because no one was there to attack. Everyone was there to learn and share. In essence, I simply opened myself up to something incredible; and the side effects of that, the intense vulnerability as I made my way home, were not easy, in the slightest. But, as I say, I would do it again in a heartbeat, because these experiences are so vital and ultimately nourishing to every part of my life.

Last year, at Eroticon 2012, I don’t think I realised just how much of a novice I was. I felt confident and present, and I wasn’t frightened by the prospect of being there, but I was wide-eyed and innocent; eager to learn and find my way into the larger community. In the year since that shining day in March 2012, my relationships with the people I met, or got to know better, there have flourished and I am no longer trying to find my way in: I am there. That’s not to say that the community is at all exclusive; it’s simply a matter of finding your place. Four people really stand out, as having welcomed me and become the backbone of my place at Eroticon: Molly, Michael, Remittance Girl, and Ruby. My friendships with the first three are extremely close, and in some ways deeply personal, but I will say something about Ruby.

Despite being a volunteer (who got off incredibly lightly!) at Eroticon 2012 and therefore having been in contact with Ru over email for much of 2011, the event itself was, in fact, the first time I met her, and I didn’t spend a great deal of time with her on the day. She struck me as someone to admire, simply by way of the incredible work she had done to pull the event together; she came across as extremely professional and exceptionally experienced. Having, as I’ve said, not spent much time with her on the day, I didn’t feel I knew her all that well, so it was a heartwarming surprise when she invited me to stay with her during the Summer. Over the course of two days, we walked around her hometown, played in her daughter’s ‘ship’, talked about mutual friends, and shared our thoughts on Eroticon (amongst many other things!), and by the time I was getting on the train, I was full of ideas and inspiration, feeling incredibly blessed that I had been allowed a glimpse into her life. And here’s the thing: she is professional, and I think the way she presented herself at Eroticon 2012 gave the impression that this all comes naturally to her; that she is a businesswoman who wears suits every day, and has hoards of people working for her. But she’s not. She is a businesswoman, and she is professional, but she doesn’t have a team at her beck and call. She created Eroticon from nothing! So when, during the run up to the 2013 conference, I saw people complaining about the price of the tickets, I wondered if maybe they had this extraordinarily professional image of Ru in their heads, and assumed that for her, getting sponsors and funding for the event was small fry; easy. Although I think most people know – if they think about it – that this isn’t true for anyone, there is something to be said about those subconscious ideas we get about people; those first, visual impressions can be very striking. But the truth is that it is by no means easy for her. She runs Eroticon out of passion and love and dedication, because she knows that it’s important; because there are those of us who need it. And I don’t think anyone there this weekend can be in any doubt of how their ticket money was spent: it was spent creating a phenomenal two day conference which afforded us all the kind of inspiration and friendships you cannot put a price on.

But onto the weekend itself.

As anyone who listened to IGRD 01: Get me to Coin Street will know, I had my entire weekend pretty much planned out before I got there, and I only made a handful of amendments on the day.

Day 1: Opening plenary: Brook: XES: We can’t go backwards (Brook)
The conference was opened with a talk on sexual health and sex education from a representative of the XES: We can’t go backwards campaign. The talk was interesting and informative, but I was left wondering if a talk about policies and sexual health was really the right way to start a conference for writers.

Myth busting: the submissive woman (Molly Moore)
This was the first of a few sessions which I attended for love of the person leading it. I was there to support my good friend and podcast co-host, but also because I knew a lot of the people attending it would be submissive women, and I very much wanted to be in a room with all of these inspiring people, some of whose exploits I get the benefit of reading about on their blogs. The session was brilliant, and Molly truly covered a lot in her 45 minutes! and very clearly and coherently. A great way to break the ice and get into the full swing of Eroticon.

Editing (Cressida Downing)
Being a firm believer in the editing process – and having read enough badly edited literature to know how often this essential process is done badly, or not at all! – this session was a must for me. Despite being mindful of my own editing, there is always something new to learn. Cressida Downing knows her business, and was an incredibly engaging and funny speaker. A joy and a lesson in one.

Creative Writing: Eroticism and Romanticism (Remittance Girl)
Standing outside the door before this session with Molly, RG looked at us both and asked us what we were doing there, saying we already knew everything she was going to say. And whilst I had already talked to her about a lot of the content of her talk, it was still fascinating; besides which, when we’re having tea in her living room, I don’t get to take notes! Her brilliant session covered the fine distinction between eroticism and romanticism and discussed the importance of transgression in fiction, which anyone who has read my work will know is one of my primary concerns when I write. Oh, and she also claimed that “the Pope is not huggy!”

Writing for the Adult Industry (Ruby Goodnight)
Ruby Goodnight was another person with whom I spent a lot of time during the weekend, and I was thrilled to have the chance to get to know her better, and to attend her brilliant session. Ruby talked openly and frankly about how to get into writing for the Adult Industry, the pitfalls and how to find success. She is a very good presenter, and I sincerely hope she will run another similar seminar, where writers can get an even deeper insight into this world and how we might break into it.

Self-Publishing: Getting started when you go it alone (MK Elliott)
Unfortunately a lot of this session was used up trying to get Guy New York up and running via Google Hangouts and Skype (as he was supposed to co-present). However, once MK started (handling the sudden change to presenting solo with professional grace), it was a very comprehensive look at the difficulties and benefits of self-publishing. I will definitely be contacting her in the future, as and when I make my way into this world.

Day 1: Closing plenary (Ruby Kiddell)
I have heard from several people that they felt this talk was a little too negative and therefore not the best way to close day one, and I do understand where they are coming from in this respect. Perhaps it was badly placed in the schedule; however! what Ruby talked about – that sex blogging does not take itself nearly seriously enough, and is not up to date with policies and copyright and the laws of what it’s doing, and is therefore less able to effect change through the work it produces, – is really important, and I sincerely hope that the audience took what she was saying on board.

Day 2: Opening plenary (Ruby Kiddell)
I have to confess that when it comes to recalling the content of this talk, I am drawing a blank. It was a long weekend! I suppose something was bound to slip. But I do remember it being very interesting, and largely positive. My notes read: ‘About unbelievable things becoming believable by way of very real and natural characters. In favour of indie presses for ‘different’ voices.’

Polyamory 101 (Lori Smith & Amanda Jones)
In my Eroticon 2013 Meet’n’Greet I put this down as my Must Attend session. Having recently begun identifying as non-monogamous, I have done a lot of research on the subject and so I did know a lot of the content of this session. But I have found that all my doubts and fears and worries are very well addressed by being in the company of and listening to the wise words of other non-monogamous people, so being in this room was essential for me. Lori and Amanda presented an exceptionally well timed session with humour and fun, dispelling some hard learned myths about human sexuality, and ending with a quick-fire, timed, Buzzcocks-style question and answer section that had us delegates laughing and rapt. (This session is also available as audio.)

Porn Challenge (Justin Hancock)
This was another session I had been looking forward to very much. I’ve been reading Justin’s work for a few months now, and was thrilled to get the opportunity to attend his session. We were all taken back to school days, split into groups and asked to address the problems in porn today. With big pieces of paper and felt-tip pens we began solving issues such as race, disability, and identity. It was refreshing to be in a session that was a little bit more interactive and great fun to work with the other delegates.

Storytelling and Sex (Alison Robert, Justin Hancock & Emily Dubberley)
Unfortunately this was the one session of the weekend with which I did not get on. The session covered the idea of writing safer sex practices into erotic fiction. Whilst it is an admirable idea, and it has (apparently) been shown to increase the use of protection amongst young people, it bore no relevance to my writing, as what I write is transgressive. Safe sex would not only undermine the story but be completely superfluous. When you write about rape and beastiality, condoms are not the problem. So, I will confess, I left this session early and skipped upstairs to…

SEO Love (Michael Knight)
Although I have pretty much had this session one-to-one with Michael – as have many other lucky people! – it was a joy to watch him gleeful with nerdy joy as he took the delegates through the minutiae of self-hosting, running, and promoting websites. This man knows what he’s talking about!

BDSM Tools of the Trade (Molly Moore & Michael Knight)
By this point in the weekend I was feeling understandably overwhelmed and so, although I had not planned to attend this session, I decided I wanted to spend some time with people I love, and listen to them talking about all the delicious things I crave. It was exceptionally well presented, informative, and fun – I walked out with a lovely red misery stick mark burning on my forearm; aren’t I lucky? If you want to see what it was all about, I made a good effort to live-tweet the session under #ToolsBDSMTrade.

Sex and the Media (Zoe Margolis & Nichi Hodgson)
Last year, the Sex and the Media session was pretty much the highlight of my weekend. I learned an extraordinary amount about what it really means to be a sex writer, and upped my anonymity ten-fold whilst I decided whether or not to come out. Unfortunately, this year, the session was repetitive and very negative. Whilst I understand that sex is not well represented in the mainstream media, Zoe and Nichi offered very few ways to get round the problems and fix it, which I found disappointing. There were, however, some good comments and questions from the other delegates.

Day 2: Closing plenary (Cindy Gallop)

Having become aware of Cindy Gallop relatively recently, I have been watching her work carefully. I’ve heard a lot of her talk before on the Savage Lovecast and Sex Out Loud, but it was a joy to have her address us directly, and to get to listen to her once again. She is a very money-motivated person, which I think some people find troublesome, but I actually really admire her ethos and I think her ideas are exceptionally well presented. She left the conference on a positive, but important note. In addition, due to the fact that she couldn’t attend the conference itself, she was streamed in on the big screen, but apologised for her absence, saying she would never usually give the closing plenary to a conference she had not attended and I greatly appreciated that she addressed this. It seemed to show a great deal of awareness and understanding. (This talk is available to watch online.)

And there you have it. Overall a wonderful weekend! My deepest love, appreciation and respect to Ruby Kiddell for creating this spectacular conference. TWICE.

If you’ve written about Eroticon 2013, don’t forget to link up on the Write Sex Right site. Also, I will write about Saturday night’s reading event, Aural Sex, in the next few days, so watch for that post. AND… don’t forget to send us your soundbites and mini-reviews for the podcast!

Edit: I’ve noticed, on twitter and Facebook, that a lot of people are experiencing what I identify as ‘drop’ in the wake of Eroticon. So just in case it’s helpful to anyone, I’m adding a link to my article on how to survive drop alone. ‘Drop’ is a BDSM term, but I do also address other forms of drop as well.

The post Eroticon 2013, in review appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

But perhaps that’s too big a challenge anyway. I would bend to kiss the feet of the person who can give three, four, five hours of discussion to each individual they meet who has misunderstood or misinterpreted what it means to be dominant, or submissive, or sadistic, or masochistic, or any variation and combination of the above; but I am not this person. Don’t get me wrong: when it comes to the people I love, my friends and, well, perhaps my family from the right angle, I will give it the time it takes to help them understand me and my life. But with near-strangers, I would prefer to order another G&T and discuss Tuesday’s episode of The New Normal.

Which brings me to two points: one, it is a gift beyond anything I have known to meet people who just understand. The conversation begins and it hits that moment, and there is no snag, no pause, just understanding. Of course, you will never completely agree with anyone, but there is a place of harmony where you don’t have to explain where you’re sitting, you can simply discuss what you see – because this other person sees it too. Maybe they don’t completely agree with your analysis, but they see it. Secondly, whilst the individual, micro-explaining that I described above may not be my chosen course of action, I still believe that a broader, more open discussion can bring people round to, not the same point of view as you, but a similar one, and certainly a lot more acceptance.

Which is why I am so thrilled that my dear friend Molly – who, incidentally, is one of those people with whom I just understand, without explanation – is running a session at Eroticon titled Myth Busting: the submissive woman. As part of her preparation for this session, she has asked her readers to answer a few questions about the imbalance between how submission manifests and how that is represented or misrepresented in the world.

And so Molly asks…

What are the top 5 myths/beliefs you would like to dispel about submissive women?
(I only have four, but they are closely interwoven.)

The main thing I would like to dispel is the myth that because I am a fiercely independent, strong-headed, ambitious, and – yes – dominant woman when it comes to my work, I am not really submissive. Anyone who has actually seen me submit will know that I truly am, at my core, submissive.

This first myth goes hand-in-hand with my second point: that a real submissive should be submissive to everyone. In reality – and this is true for 99% of the submissives I have met – the list of people I will submit to is a drop in the ocean of people I will not submit to.

The third belief I would like to dispel is actually more prevalent within the community than out of it: this is the infuriating belief that a true submissive will never say no to his/her dominant. That in order to really be submissive you have to agree to let down all your boundaries and agree to everything and anything you are told to do.

This also mixes with the fourth belief I would like to address: that safewords are unnecessary. People are allowed to play in whatever way they wish, but I am a strong believer in safewords and I am no less submissive for having one.

As a submissive woman, use up to 5 words to describe you or your submission.
The complete corruption of innocence.

In erotic fiction what are the most common ‘wrongs’ you come across that don’t work for you as a submissive woman?
My pet hate with all fiction is characters – but particularly female characters – who are so full of self-doubt and neuroses that it overwhelms all sense of agency. Whilst it could be argued that the reason this trope is used so often is that it is only a slightly exaggerated reflection of the truth for many people, it does not apply to everyone. Furthermore, it is a character flaw attributed all too often to submissive, female characters. Given our socialised understanding of a submissive woman as someone who requires a leader (and in some ways that can be true) it’s easy to understand why the submissive woman might be read as a character who cannot lead herself. The problem with this, for me, is that most of the submissive women I know actually have a very strong sense of self, often because they have had to look very deeply at themselves in terms of their submission.

If you could ask a submissive woman any question, what would it be?
This question is tricky for me because I know a lot of submissive women and have asked them many questions. But the main thing I always want to know is how her submission manifests for her. How it feels to be submissive, and what physical form it takes in terms of the actions and sexuality she lives. Because I know that it does not mean over-the-knee spanking for everyone, and even when it does, that still may not be at its core.

If you could as ME (Molly) any question, what would it be?
This question is even trickier because I am fortunate enough to be very close to Molly and I have asked her numerous burning questions this week alone. However, I do have a question I would like to ask publicly: what, from your point of view, is the best thing we – submissive women and the men and women we love – can do to help society better understand what it means to be submissive?

• • • • •

If you haven’t got your ticket for Eroticon 2013, it is not too late! Simply visit the site here and register for your weekend ticket.

And if you are coming to Eroticon on March 2nd-3rd, be sure to come and support Molly and the other delegates who are offering a free evening of erotic readings and cabaret. More information here.

The post Answer Time: the curious state of submission appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

The one thing I felt was missing from last year’s Eroticon was a chance for all us writers to read our work, and share it with the other delegates. So when Ruby asked me to organise an evening of erotic reading for Eroticon 2013, I was delighted.

I had a lot of interest from writers wanting to read their work, and paring it down to nine was a tough job, but I think what we have now is a group who will deliver a lot of filth, a little romance, and some diversity from the world of sex writing.

I am also very excited to announce that I have procured the compering services of burlesque and cabaret performers Miss Glory Pearl and Miss Maybe. These two lovely ladies are the producers of Wanton Words & Burlesque Bombshells which is “a unique cabaret night featuring author readings of erotic fiction with comedy, sketches, [and] lashings of burlesque”. They say “ it’s guaranteed to make you laugh, quite likely to make you blush”. They are bringing to us several sketches, a touch of comedy, and an audience competition.

And to top it all off we have an excellent venue in the “spacious yet cozy” Lock, Stock Bar – “once known […] as Bison Bar [it has been] renamed in honour of its cameo appearance in Guy Ritchie’s cult films Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” – which can be found just two tube stops away from the Eroticon venue on Coin Street. Here readers and audience members-alike can purchase alcohol (or a drop of dutch-courage, if necessary).

The Lock, Stock Bar is located on the ground floor of Journeys London Bridge Hostel, which offers very cheap accommodation if anyone is still looking for a place to stay! and of course, if you haven’t bought your Eroticon ticket yet you’d better do it soon! as we are now less than three weeks away.

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to email me – Harper Eliot – on harper (at) itgirlragdoll dot com. I look forward to seeing you all at Eroticon!

The post Aural Sex at Eroticon 2013 appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

Name:

Twitter ID: @HarperEliot

Must attend Eroticon 2013 session: Gosh – there are quite a few! but one I’m particularly looking forward to is Polyamory 101 with Lori Smith and Amanda Jones.

Bloggers you’d like to be trapped in a lift with: How big is this lift? Lori Smith, Zoe Margolis, Remittance Girl, and Molly Moore. (Assuming Miss Kiddell would be present over the intercom, seeings as this is her event.)

Erotic writer you’d like to dramatize your life story: Oh! Remittance Girl. Undoubtedly.

Expected bigest fangirl/fanboy moment: I feel blessed that this is a difficult decision to make simply because I have met so many of the wonderful people who will be at Eroticon. But if I can elbow my way to Cindy Gallop I will. I’m also really looking forward to meeting Justin Hancock.

What keeps you awake at nights? My never-ending to do list, impending coursework deadlines, addictive TV shows, and, I’ll be honest, men – although, I hasten to add, almost always in a positive, if distracting, light.

• • • • •

I have actually been meaning to write about Eroticon for a while now but due to those impending coursework deadlines and deliciously distracting men, I’ve had trouble finding the time to do it. Nevertheless, better late than never, and for those of you who aren’t down to attend yet tickets are still available here! So if you want to mingle with some of the finest talent in sex blogging and erotic fiction, Eroticon 2013 awaits you!

Last year Eroticon proved to be so much greater than the sum of its parts. Between excellent seminars and thought-provoking panels I met more people than I can remember (off the top of my head), and came away with not only a long list of new connections, but months worth of writing material. Inspiring and endlessly informative, Ruby Kiddell pulled off something that we were in great need of – and this year is looking to be even better.

I also want to mention that I am organising an evening of erotic readings on the Saturday night. I would be thrilled to see you all there, and I can promise some truly wonderful entertainment set in an atmospheric venue complete with alcoves and alcohol. Watch out for more details coming very soon.

Please do leave me a comment and say hello, and I will see you all in March! – that is, if I can get my coursework done by then, of course.

See who else is coming to Eroticon 2013 in the Meet & Greet link up

The post Eroticon 2013 Meet’n'Greet etc. appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

Oh where do I begin!

Like many of the people who could be found at Armada House, Bristol on Saturday 3rd March, I had been looking forward to Eroticon 2012 for close to a year. That is quite some build up! And with the amount of hype and excitement that preceded it, the bar was high.

Organised, hosted, run, (and many other verbs) by Ruby Kiddell, the day was divided into sessions, the topics of which ranged from Identity and Ethics, to Publishing, to Photography, to Podcasting, to Writing itself – the whole schedule is still up on the site for the time being, – and between which there was plenty of time to meet and talk to the other delegates.

I personally attended: Identity, ethics and sex blogging (Zoe Margolis, Lori Smith, Molly Moore, Mina Lamieux), Writing workshop (Maxim Jakubowski), Convincingly queer, writing beyond our experience (Aisling Weaver, Josephine Myles), Publishers panel (Hazel Cushion, Maxim Jakubowski, Paul Andrews, Monique Roffey, Richard Eadie), and Sex and the media (Lori Smith, Zoe Margolis, Rubyyy Jones, Matt Bateman).

All of the sessions either brought up topics which I will discuss in articles to come, or provided me with insights which I hope will enhance my writing in general.

The day ended, for everyone, with a demonstration from London Faerie on Sacred Kink, wherein he “whipped [Lori Smith] into a state of ecstasy’; I’m paraphrasing but I believe that is how he himself described it. After a day of thought-provoking discussion and debate, this was not only an incredible experience, but also a welcome relief. But I don’t think anyone quite expected what they saw. Watching the demonstration was deeply affecting, not to mention the intensity of sharing that experience with the rest of the audience. The whole room took on a strange kind of quiet focus wherein we were all drawn into their connection and what they were, so kindly, sharing with us. I think also, on a more political level, it is always good when a large number of people are able to see the consent, the intimacy, and the enjoyment of both parties when they engage in this kind of socially transgressive play.

As I have mentioned, Eroticon not only sparked great discussion and ideas, but brought a lot of people together, and I was thrilled to meet so many erotic artists whom I have admired, followed, and read for so long: I was thrilled to meet Aisling Weaver and Wyeth Bailey and get, well, never enough, but a significant amount of time to talk with them. It was also a delight to meet the illustrious Mina Lamieux. Of course, many of the usual Erotic Meet crowd were there, which is always a delight, and I also spent a lot of the day with the people behind Something Dark magazine – to which you can now find a permanent link in my sidebar. There were so many people there, many of whom I am now sharing my twitter timeline and my email inbox with, that I couldn’t possibly name them all now! but if you visit Write Sex Right, you will find links to many of their own accounts of Eroticon.

As I left Bristol, riding back to London late on Saturday night, one phrase continued to circle in my head: “Eroticon needed to happen”. It needed to happen because you can never have too much support and inspiration as a writer; it needed to happen because erotic writers need an excuse to get together; and most of all it needed to happen because we are all writing outside what is socially accepted. We are all pushing boundaries and making use of our freedom of speech. And to see so many other people in exactly the same situation as ourselves was empowering, inspiring, and incredibly comforting. I have never felt so at home with a group of strangers.

Finally, I would like to raise a metaphorical toast to Ruby: Eroticon went far beyond any expectation. It was perfectly organised, allowing us all room to grow and learn. A spectacular event, hosted with professionalism and style. My mind is still reeling. And I sincerely hope that it happens again. To Ruby!

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