The evening itself was not without it’s hiccups, and I’ll admit that as the event went on and on, I did wonder if I had tried to pack just a little too much into one evening. But truth be told, I was very selective when I chose the readers, and I really feel that every one of them needed the space to voice their words, because they were all brilliant. Furthermore, whilst I have organised events before, I had never organised a reading night like this; so there was bound to be a little trial and error. Next time, I’m sure, I will pull it off with significantly more finesse.

Before I go onto the readers, I have to offer a huge thank you to our beautiful comperes, Miss Glory Pearl and Miss Maybe, from Wanton Words and Burlesque Bombshells, who, despite some technical difficulties and a few minor last minute changes, hosted the evening with incredible humour and showmanship. Having seen quite a lot of burlesque and cabaret over the past few years, I can attest to the fact that these two are amongst the best around; wickedly funny and unashamedly female, they really carried the night, and I am so glad we were able to have them. I strongly advise you all ‘like’ and ‘share’ their Facebook page; talent like this deserves to be known.

The readings were started off by Ruby Goodnight (@RubyGoodnight). Although I’ve never heard her read, I was confident that with her presence and her awareness she could easily handle this opening spot, and she did so magnificently.

Following her were the ever twisted, funny, and fairytale-like words of Janine Ashbless – who is also a brilliant reader. She read us some decadent troll sex from her novel Named and Shamed.

Third up was Lesley Mitchell (@dkscully). Funnily enough, I know Lesley mostly from being horribly beaten by her at Words with Friends. But beyond her Scrabble skills, she also writes very interesting and finely structured stories.

Yours truly had to follow a fantastic sketch called ‘Fifty Shades of Beige’ performed by Miss Glory Pearl, Miss Maybe and one accommodating (and overenthusiastic) volunteer. Although I couldn’t comment on how my reading was received, I did get that slightly uncomfortable hush I so enjoy from an audience.

Just before the break we heard some high class BDSM erotica from the stunningly latex-clad Ruby Kiddell (@eroticnotebook).

Coming back we were first treated to a brilliant control-underwear striptease from Miss Maybe, which I don’t think anyone will ever forget. Simply hilarious.

And then we were back to the readings, starting the second half with the gorgeous Molly Moore (@Mollysdailykiss), who read a piece of prose and a piece of poetry, both completely engrossing in their treatment of human nature and sexuality.

Molly was followed by the inimitable Ashley R. Lister (@ashleylister) with a couple of poems, including his wonderful piece Betty & I. I am so sorry that I missed his poetry writing session at the conference, as this is a man who truly knows his way around rhyme and structure. Staggeringly funny, and pleasingly poignant.

Kristina Lloyd (@kristina_lloyd) came next, with a delightfully bawdy tale from the collection Smart Ass (Annual Anal Erotica). (Say that out loud three times fast.)

Rounding up the readings was KD Grace (@KD_Grace) with a passage from her novel The Initiation of Miss Holly. Having heard KD read several times before, I was confident that she could leave the evening on a strong and teasing note.

We finished the acts with another quirky and unusual burlesque piece from Miss Glory Pearl. Who would have thought watching an old lady strip and offer extremely conservative sex to her husband could be so amusing?

Over the course of the evening, Miss Glory Pearl and Miss Maybe also ran a limerick-writing competition, which was well received and yielded these two winners:

Winner (Ian Jade – @jadeserotica)
I’m never a fella to brag,
But I look fucking awesome in drag,
With a plug made of glass
Nestled snug up my arse,
I’m a glamorous, cross-dressing slag

Dirtiest (Ashley J. Lister)
There once was a woman named Anya
Whose cunt was like an aircraft hanger.
But do not dismay,
The ending’s okay,
‘Cause her man’s hung like Findus lasagna.

Thank you so much to everyone who entered the competition and I hope Ian and Ashley enjoyed their nipple tassels and cucumber (respectively). (If any of the other participants still have their limericks, feel free to post them in the comments below; I’d love to see the others!)

Despite a slightly late start and longer evening than I had planned, it was full of entertainment and I am infinitely pleased with the feedback I have received so far. It was not an easy night, but it yielded an awful lot of wonderful work.

I want to say a big thank you to all the readers, our comperes, and everyone who came out to see us. I also have to thank the wonderful Dom Signs who kept me sane, sorted out the music, and offered me some relief on the tube home. (No, not like that. Perverts.)

The post Aural Sex, in review appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

Please send audio files and written reviews to harper (at) itgirlragdoll dot com. Thank you!

Posts about and reviews of Eroticon 2013 are already springing up everywhere and I think it’s safe to say that even if it wasn’t all your cup of tea, everyone had a spectacularly inspiring and thought-provoking weekend. With a year’s build-up, this second round at Eroticon had a lot to live up to, and I’m happy to say it surpassed 2012 in almost every way.

Before I go on to my comments about the sessions I attended, I will say that it was a weekend that showed how much truth there is in that old saying: ‘Nothing worth having comes easy’. Despite how wonderfully inspiring it was, and how overwhelmingly happy I felt throughout the vast majority of the weekend, it was by no means easy. Running on adrenaline for 48 hours plus, I began to feel my armour slipping, and by Sunday night my emotions and my nerves were raw – as if the skin had been peeled from my body and the slightest touch of my red exterior would send me screaming. But the reason I ended up feeling this raw is just too wonderful to ignore and I would – will! – do it again and again, year after year, because I think it is that important: at Eroticon, I found comradeship, new friends, old friends; I realised just how much some people mean to me, and I felt truly accepted. I didn’t need the armour, because no one was there to attack. Everyone was there to learn and share. In essence, I simply opened myself up to something incredible; and the side effects of that, the intense vulnerability as I made my way home, were not easy, in the slightest. But, as I say, I would do it again in a heartbeat, because these experiences are so vital and ultimately nourishing to every part of my life.

Last year, at Eroticon 2012, I don’t think I realised just how much of a novice I was. I felt confident and present, and I wasn’t frightened by the prospect of being there, but I was wide-eyed and innocent; eager to learn and find my way into the larger community. In the year since that shining day in March 2012, my relationships with the people I met, or got to know better, there have flourished and I am no longer trying to find my way in: I am there. That’s not to say that the community is at all exclusive; it’s simply a matter of finding your place. Four people really stand out, as having welcomed me and become the backbone of my place at Eroticon: Molly, Michael, Remittance Girl, and Ruby. My friendships with the first three are extremely close, and in some ways deeply personal, but I will say something about Ruby.

Despite being a volunteer (who got off incredibly lightly!) at Eroticon 2012 and therefore having been in contact with Ru over email for much of 2011, the event itself was, in fact, the first time I met her, and I didn’t spend a great deal of time with her on the day. She struck me as someone to admire, simply by way of the incredible work she had done to pull the event together; she came across as extremely professional and exceptionally experienced. Having, as I’ve said, not spent much time with her on the day, I didn’t feel I knew her all that well, so it was a heartwarming surprise when she invited me to stay with her during the Summer. Over the course of two days, we walked around her hometown, played in her daughter’s ‘ship’, talked about mutual friends, and shared our thoughts on Eroticon (amongst many other things!), and by the time I was getting on the train, I was full of ideas and inspiration, feeling incredibly blessed that I had been allowed a glimpse into her life. And here’s the thing: she is professional, and I think the way she presented herself at Eroticon 2012 gave the impression that this all comes naturally to her; that she is a businesswoman who wears suits every day, and has hoards of people working for her. But she’s not. She is a businesswoman, and she is professional, but she doesn’t have a team at her beck and call. She created Eroticon from nothing! So when, during the run up to the 2013 conference, I saw people complaining about the price of the tickets, I wondered if maybe they had this extraordinarily professional image of Ru in their heads, and assumed that for her, getting sponsors and funding for the event was small fry; easy. Although I think most people know – if they think about it – that this isn’t true for anyone, there is something to be said about those subconscious ideas we get about people; those first, visual impressions can be very striking. But the truth is that it is by no means easy for her. She runs Eroticon out of passion and love and dedication, because she knows that it’s important; because there are those of us who need it. And I don’t think anyone there this weekend can be in any doubt of how their ticket money was spent: it was spent creating a phenomenal two day conference which afforded us all the kind of inspiration and friendships you cannot put a price on.

But onto the weekend itself.

As anyone who listened to IGRD 01: Get me to Coin Street will know, I had my entire weekend pretty much planned out before I got there, and I only made a handful of amendments on the day.

Day 1: Opening plenary: Brook: XES: We can’t go backwards (Brook)
The conference was opened with a talk on sexual health and sex education from a representative of the XES: We can’t go backwards campaign. The talk was interesting and informative, but I was left wondering if a talk about policies and sexual health was really the right way to start a conference for writers.

Myth busting: the submissive woman (Molly Moore)
This was the first of a few sessions which I attended for love of the person leading it. I was there to support my good friend and podcast co-host, but also because I knew a lot of the people attending it would be submissive women, and I very much wanted to be in a room with all of these inspiring people, some of whose exploits I get the benefit of reading about on their blogs. The session was brilliant, and Molly truly covered a lot in her 45 minutes! and very clearly and coherently. A great way to break the ice and get into the full swing of Eroticon.

Editing (Cressida Downing)
Being a firm believer in the editing process – and having read enough badly edited literature to know how often this essential process is done badly, or not at all! – this session was a must for me. Despite being mindful of my own editing, there is always something new to learn. Cressida Downing knows her business, and was an incredibly engaging and funny speaker. A joy and a lesson in one.

Creative Writing: Eroticism and Romanticism (Remittance Girl)
Standing outside the door before this session with Molly, RG looked at us both and asked us what we were doing there, saying we already knew everything she was going to say. And whilst I had already talked to her about a lot of the content of her talk, it was still fascinating; besides which, when we’re having tea in her living room, I don’t get to take notes! Her brilliant session covered the fine distinction between eroticism and romanticism and discussed the importance of transgression in fiction, which anyone who has read my work will know is one of my primary concerns when I write. Oh, and she also claimed that “the Pope is not huggy!”

Writing for the Adult Industry (Ruby Goodnight)
Ruby Goodnight was another person with whom I spent a lot of time during the weekend, and I was thrilled to have the chance to get to know her better, and to attend her brilliant session. Ruby talked openly and frankly about how to get into writing for the Adult Industry, the pitfalls and how to find success. She is a very good presenter, and I sincerely hope she will run another similar seminar, where writers can get an even deeper insight into this world and how we might break into it.

Self-Publishing: Getting started when you go it alone (MK Elliott)
Unfortunately a lot of this session was used up trying to get Guy New York up and running via Google Hangouts and Skype (as he was supposed to co-present). However, once MK started (handling the sudden change to presenting solo with professional grace), it was a very comprehensive look at the difficulties and benefits of self-publishing. I will definitely be contacting her in the future, as and when I make my way into this world.

Day 1: Closing plenary (Ruby Kiddell)
I have heard from several people that they felt this talk was a little too negative and therefore not the best way to close day one, and I do understand where they are coming from in this respect. Perhaps it was badly placed in the schedule; however! what Ruby talked about – that sex blogging does not take itself nearly seriously enough, and is not up to date with policies and copyright and the laws of what it’s doing, and is therefore less able to effect change through the work it produces, – is really important, and I sincerely hope that the audience took what she was saying on board.

Day 2: Opening plenary (Ruby Kiddell)
I have to confess that when it comes to recalling the content of this talk, I am drawing a blank. It was a long weekend! I suppose something was bound to slip. But I do remember it being very interesting, and largely positive. My notes read: ‘About unbelievable things becoming believable by way of very real and natural characters. In favour of indie presses for ‘different’ voices.’

Polyamory 101 (Lori Smith & Amanda Jones)
In my Eroticon 2013 Meet’n’Greet I put this down as my Must Attend session. Having recently begun identifying as non-monogamous, I have done a lot of research on the subject and so I did know a lot of the content of this session. But I have found that all my doubts and fears and worries are very well addressed by being in the company of and listening to the wise words of other non-monogamous people, so being in this room was essential for me. Lori and Amanda presented an exceptionally well timed session with humour and fun, dispelling some hard learned myths about human sexuality, and ending with a quick-fire, timed, Buzzcocks-style question and answer section that had us delegates laughing and rapt. (This session is also available as audio.)

Porn Challenge (Justin Hancock)
This was another session I had been looking forward to very much. I’ve been reading Justin’s work for a few months now, and was thrilled to get the opportunity to attend his session. We were all taken back to school days, split into groups and asked to address the problems in porn today. With big pieces of paper and felt-tip pens we began solving issues such as race, disability, and identity. It was refreshing to be in a session that was a little bit more interactive and great fun to work with the other delegates.

Storytelling and Sex (Alison Robert, Justin Hancock & Emily Dubberley)
Unfortunately this was the one session of the weekend with which I did not get on. The session covered the idea of writing safer sex practices into erotic fiction. Whilst it is an admirable idea, and it has (apparently) been shown to increase the use of protection amongst young people, it bore no relevance to my writing, as what I write is transgressive. Safe sex would not only undermine the story but be completely superfluous. When you write about rape and beastiality, condoms are not the problem. So, I will confess, I left this session early and skipped upstairs to…

SEO Love (Michael Knight)
Although I have pretty much had this session one-to-one with Michael – as have many other lucky people! – it was a joy to watch him gleeful with nerdy joy as he took the delegates through the minutiae of self-hosting, running, and promoting websites. This man knows what he’s talking about!

BDSM Tools of the Trade (Molly Moore & Michael Knight)
By this point in the weekend I was feeling understandably overwhelmed and so, although I had not planned to attend this session, I decided I wanted to spend some time with people I love, and listen to them talking about all the delicious things I crave. It was exceptionally well presented, informative, and fun – I walked out with a lovely red misery stick mark burning on my forearm; aren’t I lucky? If you want to see what it was all about, I made a good effort to live-tweet the session under #ToolsBDSMTrade.

Sex and the Media (Zoe Margolis & Nichi Hodgson)
Last year, the Sex and the Media session was pretty much the highlight of my weekend. I learned an extraordinary amount about what it really means to be a sex writer, and upped my anonymity ten-fold whilst I decided whether or not to come out. Unfortunately, this year, the session was repetitive and very negative. Whilst I understand that sex is not well represented in the mainstream media, Zoe and Nichi offered very few ways to get round the problems and fix it, which I found disappointing. There were, however, some good comments and questions from the other delegates.

Day 2: Closing plenary (Cindy Gallop)

Having become aware of Cindy Gallop relatively recently, I have been watching her work carefully and, in fact, she was the person who – through a tweet of encouragement – pushed me to my final decision to come out as Stella. I’ve heard a lot of her talk before on the Savage Lovecast and Sex Out Loud, but it was a joy to have her address us directly, and to get to listen to her once again. She is a very money-motivated person, which I think some people find troublesome, but I actually really admire her ethos and I think her ideas are exceptionally well presented. She left the conference on a positive, but important note. In addition, due to the fact that she couldn’t attend the conference itself, she was streamed in on the big screen, but apologised for her absence, saying she would never usually give the closing plenary to a conference she had not attended and I greatly appreciated that she addressed this. It seemed to show a great deal of awareness and understanding. (This talk is available to watch online.)

And there you have it. Overall a wonderful weekend! My deepest love, appreciation and respect to Ruby Kiddell for creating this spectacular conference. TWICE.

If you’ve written about Eroticon 2013, don’t forget to link up on the Write Sex Right site. Also, I will write about Saturday night’s reading event, Aural Sex, in the next few days, so watch for that post. AND… don’t forget to send us your soundbites and mini-reviews for the podcast!

Edit: I’ve noticed, on twitter and Facebook, that a lot of people are experiencing what I identify as ‘drop’ in the wake of Eroticon. So just in case it’s helpful to anyone, I’m adding a link to my article on how to survive drop alone. ‘Drop’ is a BDSM term, but I do also address other forms of drop as well.

The post Eroticon 2013, in review appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

And really, for those of us who have nurtured our love for Remittance Girl through novellas such as ‘Gaijin’ and ‘The Waiting Room’, and on short stories like ‘Click’ and ‘Pleasure’s Apprentice’ (the first story of hers I ever read), there is no denying that ‘Beautiful Losers’ is a departure. She has written pieces before that may be comparable in tone – the quickly written series ‘The Lepidopterists’ springs to mind – but really ‘Beautiful Losers’ seems to deal with a far less, for lack of a better word, mature set of characters than I usually expect from her. Her heroes and heroines often find themselves in emotional turmoil, but it tends to be over more immediate and more dramatic subjects, such as knife play or rape, whereas in ‘Beautiful Losers’ the reader is presented with a situation which may not be everyday, but is likely to be more familiar – and, perhaps, more desired – within our reality.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. ‘Beautiful Losers’ is the tale of two men – Sebastian and Jean – who bring, or attempt to bring, a single girl, Shira, into their relationship. Written from Shira’s point of view, the reader is taken through a series of emotional and sexual challenges as she delves into this new and somewhat unusual relationship.

In this excerpt, Shira joins Jean and Sebastian for breakfast after leaving Jean’s house, early, the morning after the three have first spent the night together:

It was called the Elbow Room because there was so little of it. Saturday mornings were almost impossible. You had to know someone who worked there to get a seat. Jean did: he was the food critic for the trendiest ‘what’s on’ magazine in town. His devoted readers had no idea who he was, or what he looked like. With Jean as the faceless master of culinary prose, I had made a number of off-colour jokes about the title of his weekly column, ‘Eating Out’.

Jean and Sebastian were perched on the chrome stools at the fifties-style counter with one empty seat between them. I handed my coat to a snippy waitress and made my way over.

‘Hi’ I said, hesitantly.

Jean glowered at me. ‘Sit down. We’re just an eensy-weensy bit upset with you right now. So just sit down.’

I did. Somehow, his bad temper made me feel better. Perhaps things were getting back to normal.

Or perhaps not. Jean snaked his hand into my lap and clasped it under the counter. ‘Why didn’t you wake us up, Shira?’

‘Give her a break. She was suffering from angst.’ Sebastian looked at me, dabbed the corners of his mouth with a napkin and smirked. ‘Isn’t that right, girl?’ he asked. After wiping his hands meticulously, he put the serviette down, grabbed my face in both hands and kissed me loudly, right next to my ear. ‘I told you I’d respect you in the morning, you luscious slut,’ he whispered, before swiping my cheek with the tip of his tongue.

This was a familiar sort of banter; it meant nothing. I tried to put on my most detached smile, but I know I didn’t manage it.

This may seem like an unusual excerpt for me to choose considering this is a novel situated, quite rightly, in the ‘erotic fiction’ genre, but anyone who has read Remittance Girl’s work before will know that she can write sex, and I do not need to show you just how well she does it. (For anyone who hasn’t read her work before, there is a plethora of stories for you to read here.) So I decided to find a section which displayed Shira’s narrative voice and the interaction between the characters. And really, this is where most of my struggles with the novel lie. The thing is, I have come to love, from Remittance Girl, a darker set of characters than these three, and phrases like “We’re just an eensy-weensy bit upset with you right now” do jar somewhat with my expectations. Furthermore, because Shira is our narrator, these kinds of playfully trivial phrases are littered through the text, not just confined to the dialogue. There is something, again for lack of a better word, immature about the characters and their interaction when I consider the novel within the context of Remittance Girl’s other work. Overall, it simply seems less eloquent.

But here’s why I struggled: although – I think! – the ages of the three protagonists are never made explicit, through their interactions and personalities I quickly drew them in my mind as being in their twenties. (Perhaps other readers will see them differently, but that’s where they sat in my imagination.) Given their youthfulness, the immaturity of the language seems entirely appropriate. We are seeing this situation through Shira’s inexperienced eyes, and for all my pondering over tone, I cannot deny that her voice is exactly as it should be. In fact I would describe this as a character-driven novel, and all three characters are impeccably drawn. I can find no fault, with their attitudes or tone of voice in the context of the story. Furthermore, through the course of the novel Shira, Jean and Sebastian encounter a series of struggles (over Shira’s emotional difficulty with being part of a threesome, and Jean’s hesitancy about anal sex, amongst other things) and as they move through these difficulties, the characters remain intact. What I mean is that whereas in other novels, characters are often thrown from their course and their own personalities by the things that happen to them, here they react and progress exactly as they should, and in precisely the ways we may observe in the real world. Okay, yes, there is something unusual and perhaps even a little wish-fulfillment-esque about Sebastian’s extreme wealth and the freedom that affords them, but this didn’t really bother me as it was incorporated seamlessly into the body of the story.

Nevertheless, and perhaps this is simply a reflection of my own preferences, whilst I was in the midst of the action, I didn’t feel as rapt as I did when I was reading (for example) ‘Gaijin’, because the characters weren’t dealing with a situation as dramatic or difficult as the protagonist in ‘Gaijin’. Every now and then there was a small part of me that wished Shira could just come to terms with the situation and fully give herself to the pleasure of being in a relationship with two men. Equally, there were moments when I felt that Sebastian slipped into the slightly unrealistic; that is not to say he ever dropped his attitude or character, but simply that I found some moments less believable than others.

However, without giving anything away, I do need to take a moment to discuss the end of the novel. Endings can be extraordinarily difficult to write, especially when it comes to novel-length fiction, and it is very rare that the end of a story will change how I feel about the story as a whole. But the ending of ‘Beautiful Losers’ did. The events that close the novel, whilst not wholly unexpected, do change the situation dramatically, and it was the way in which Shira reacted and dealt with this shift that really brought home for me how exquisitely these characters are drawn. For me, the characters found their redemption in this ending by reacting with quiet, but honest emotion. And that really was striking to read.

‘Beautiful Losers’ is an extremely well written novel, and it may be that any reservations I have about the tone of Shira’s voice and her interactions with Jean and Sebastian are wholly subjective, and based on my own preconceptions; but truthfully I doubt this will be a novel that I revisit in the way I have revisited Remittance Girl’s other work. It simply doesn’t speak to me on the level that ‘Gaijin’ or ‘The Waiting Room’ do. However, it would be remiss of me not to point out that I am only comparing ‘Beautiful Losers’ with Remittance Girl’s other work; if I consider it in the wider canon of erotic fiction, it is something of a masterpiece. Remittance Girl is an exceptional writer, and for anyone who can find a deeper affinity with Shira, Jean and Sebastian I would expect this novel to have a far more profound effect.

Although not without its flaw, ‘Beautiful Losers’ is a heart-rending portrait of three people trying to navigate the difficulties of an alternative relationship. And, if I’m honest, I didn’t really want to put it down.

• • • • •

‘Beautiful Losers’ is currently available as an ebook from Amazon UK and Amazon US. If you would like to read more of Remittance Girl’s work, you can do so on her site: remittancegirl dot com.

The post Review: ‘Beautiful Losers’ (Remittance Girl) appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

Although most of the photographs in the exhibition have been up on her site it really is a very different experience to look at them printed and framed. And, in fact, I was lucky enough to spend a little time amongst all the mounting equipment and the glass polishing during the run up to the exhibition, and just the difference between seeing them being prepared and looking at them hung on the walls at Sh! was exciting.

One of my favourite things about Molly’s photography is that she is confident enough to indulge in true exhibitionism when she wants to, but also understands how to capture atmosphere and eroticism without being at all explicit. Amongst photographs that display her body and her submission, there are other far subtler shots. These photographs are, perhaps, erotically charged if you understand the source, but would be completely acceptable on a living room wall. It’s not an easy thing to do, but Molly captures these moments beautifully.

If you would like to go and see A Taste of Molly, her photographs will be adorning the walls of Sh! on Hoxton Square until the end of February, for free! (Gentlemen need to be accompanied by a lady in order to visit Sh!, except on Tuesday evening between 6-8pm when the men are allowed to roam free.) If you want to take a piece of Molly home, I suggest you go soon and pick out your favourite shot.

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Where the Creative Networking Nights provide a wonderful opportunity to make friends and exchange business cards, due to the social atmosphere it can be hard to get into serious discussion about art and about the industry we are working within. On Saturday (25th August), in a more conversation-friendly setting, the seven of us – a mixture of photographers, artists, writers, and even a fine woodworker – were able to talk, in depth, about a range of different subjects including marketing strategies, adult content warnings and the difference between erotica and pornography. Coming away, with a page of notes and some interesting connections, I felt both inspired and more aware of what it means to work in the erotic industry.

The post EM-CA Mixed Media Meet in review appeared first on (It Girl. Rag Doll).

Oh where do I begin!

Like many of the people who could be found at Armada House, Bristol on Saturday 3rd March, I had been looking forward to Eroticon 2012 for close to a year. That is quite some build up! And with the amount of hype and excitement that preceded it, the bar was high.

Organised, hosted, run, (and many other verbs) by Ruby Kiddell, the day was divided into sessions, the topics of which ranged from Identity and Ethics, to Publishing, to Photography, to Podcasting, to Writing itself – the whole schedule is still up on the site for the time being, – and between which there was plenty of time to meet and talk to the other delegates.

I personally attended: Identity, ethics and sex blogging (Zoe Margolis, Lori Smith, Molly Moore, Mina Lamieux), Writing workshop (Maxim Jakubowski), Convincingly queer, writing beyond our experience (Aisling Weaver, Josephine Myles), Publishers panel (Hazel Cushion, Maxim Jakubowski, Paul Andrews, Monique Roffey, Richard Eadie), and Sex and the media (Lori Smith, Zoe Margolis, Rubyyy Jones, Matt Bateman).

All of the sessions either brought up topics which I will discuss in articles to come, or provided me with insights which I hope will enhance my writing in general.

The day ended, for everyone, with a demonstration from London Faerie on Sacred Kink, wherein he “whipped [Lori Smith] into a state of ecstasy’; I’m paraphrasing but I believe that is how he himself described it. After a day of thought-provoking discussion and debate, this was not only an incredible experience, but also a welcome relief. But I don’t think anyone quite expected what they saw. Watching the demonstration was deeply affecting, not to mention the intensity of sharing that experience with the rest of the audience. The whole room took on a strange kind of quiet focus wherein we were all drawn into their connection and what they were, so kindly, sharing with us. I think also, on a more political level, it is always good when a large number of people are able to see the consent, the intimacy, and the enjoyment of both parties when they engage in this kind of socially transgressive play.

As I have mentioned, Eroticon not only sparked great discussion and ideas, but brought a lot of people together, and I was thrilled to meet so many erotic artists whom I have admired, followed, and read for so long: I was thrilled to meet Aisling Weaver and Wyeth Bailey and get, well, never enough, but a significant amount of time to talk with them. It was also a delight to meet the illustrious Mina Lamieux. Of course, many of the usual Erotic Meet crowd were there, which is always a delight, and I also spent a lot of the day with the people behind Something Dark magazine – to which you can now find a permanent link in my sidebar. There were so many people there, many of whom I am now sharing my twitter timeline and my email inbox with, that I couldn’t possibly name them all now! but if you visit Write Sex Right, you will find links to many of their own accounts of Eroticon.

As I left Bristol, riding back to London late on Saturday night, one phrase continued to circle in my head: “Eroticon needed to happen”. It needed to happen because you can never have too much support and inspiration as a writer; it needed to happen because erotic writers need an excuse to get together; and most of all it needed to happen because we are all writing outside what is socially accepted. We are all pushing boundaries and making use of our freedom of speech. And to see so many other people in exactly the same situation as ourselves was empowering, inspiring, and incredibly comforting. I have never felt so at home with a group of strangers.

Finally, I would like to raise a metaphorical toast to Ruby: Eroticon went far beyond any expectation. It was perfectly organised, allowing us all room to grow and learn. A spectacular event, hosted with professionalism and style. My mind is still reeling. And I sincerely hope that it happens again. To Ruby!

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