Erotic Meet, Dec. ’11

Don’t you just love it when you put on your finery and go out to a gorgeous club in Soho, intending to behave like a lady, and by midnight girls are being spanked in well lit corners and the dance floor is being dominated by beautiful, persuasive men? Yeah, me too.

Last week’s Xxxmas Party was the second Erotic Meet I’ve been to, and whilst they were both good, I think this one had the edge. Advertised as their “rudest party yet” it certainly didn’t disappoint. Attended by many (near-)London based erotic writers, the venue was bubbling with salacious conversation, peppered with parenting tips – I love the fabulous women balancing motherhood and smut writing; what heroes! – and eyes were looking everyone up and down, shamelessly. There was mistletoe to encourage warm greetings, tiny penis-shaped sweets – attached to plastic rings, like dummies, which was a little unnerving – perfect for teasing, and a very lucky lucky dip to push lasciviousness further – from which my hand drew a “handy massager”.

The highlight of the night was, undoubtedly, Eastend Cabaret – and that’s saying something, because the whole night was pretty good – a perfect pairing of Bernadette Byrne and her strange, half-man, half-woman sidekick, Victor Victoria. With such catchy songs as Dangerwank and Is It In Yet?, they captured our hearts and tickled our naughty bits. I really cannot stress how fantastic this duo is; both Bernadette and Victy are great entertainers – funny and dynamic – as well as great musicians. If you get a chance to see them, DO IT. And take me with you.

But after the entertainment was over, there was plenty more to entertain! Not least of all, the auction, at which you could bid for anything from kisses to books to art to spanking; the options were deliciously broad. And all placed in the safe hands of our much loved DomSigns, who, with his paddle, acted as auctioneer for the evening. I was lucky enough to place the winning bid for a stack of erotic books and a poem, written on the spot – which you can read here, – by the talented Elizabeth N. Spire from Unseen Words. Money very well spent if you ask me!

As for the rest of the night, it is a delightful haze of G&Ts, flirtation, conversation, under-the-mistletoe kisses, and dancing – regular and pole.

Much love and many thanks to Annie Player who pulls it together for us every month and does so with such fantastic artistry and filth. Here’s to Christmas, filth, and many erotic events in 2012.