Category Archives: Relationships & Dating

Online Dating: Filling out an OkCupid profile

by Harper Eliot Posted on 15/01/2013

Writing dating profiles is not an easy task, which is probably why, when you’re browsing dating sites, you come across so many half-arsed, haphazard profiles. Perhaps there’s also an air of ‘I don’t want to look like I’m trying too … Continue reading →

Posted in Online Dating, Philosophy, Politics, & Society, Relationships & Dating | Tagged advice, Favorite books movies shows music and food, fetlife, I spend a lot of time thinking about, I'm looking for, I'm really good at, my details, my self-summary, OkCupid, On a typical Friday night I am, online dating, photograph, profiles, The first thing people usually notice about me, The most private thing I'm willing to admit, The six things I could never do without, What I'm doing with my life, You should message me if | 4 Comments

Escaping the Individual

by Harper Eliot Posted on 20/12/2012

A few weeks ago, a friend and I were discussing erotica, and one way or another the conversation came round to the topic of oral sex. We both agreed that it wasn’t something we particularly enjoyed receiving, and so we … Continue reading →

Posted in Art, Relationships & Dating, Sex | Tagged BDSM, Deindividualisation, Desire, Escape, Individual, Loneliness, Orchestra, Sex | 7 Comments

Pandarus: the gatekeeper of consent

by Harper Eliot Posted on 30/10/2012

Chaucer’s main source material when he wrote his epic poem Troilus and Criseyde was Boccaccio’s Il Filostrato. In Il Filostrato Troilio is a rather straightforward young man who pursues the beautiful Cressida and meets with little resistance. Their coming together … Continue reading →

Posted in Philosophy, Politics, & Society, Relationships & Dating | Tagged cheating, consent, informed consent, long term relationships, Pandarus, relationships, Troilus and Criseyde, uninformed consent | 2 Comments

Honest Dating: Class

by Harper Eliot Posted on 01/07/2012

When it comes to dating there is no denying that it can be tough out there and I can’t decide whether the advent of the internet has simplified things or made them more complicated. On the one hand, you can … Continue reading →

Posted in Philosophy, Politics, & Society, Relationships & Dating | Tagged attraction, class, dating, Grayson Perry, In the Best Possible Taste, middle class, online dating, preference | Leave a comment

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

by Harper Eliot Posted on 19/05/2012

Earlier this week channel four broadcasted a show titled Sex, Lies and Rinsing Guys. For a start I found it interesting that the word ‘sex’ was in the title of this show – perhaps that displays something of the producers’ … Continue reading →

Posted in Philosophy, Politics, & Society, Relationships & Dating | Tagged aesthetics, beauty, body image, business, Channel 4, Danica Thrall, flirting, materialism, money, prostitution, rinsing, Sex, Sex Lies and Rinsing Guys, teasing | 4 Comments

Harper Eliot’s Guide to Surviving Drop Alone

by Harper Eliot Posted on 10/05/2012

In light of several conversations on twitter and some of my own personal experiences, I have been considering drop. Sub-drop in particular, although top-drop too. And, as I feel sure exist, various other kinds of drop. For those of you … Continue reading →

Posted in Kink, Fetish, BDSM & Other Transgressive Sexualities, Relationships & Dating | Tagged advice, alone, cheating, comfort, drop, kink, LDR, long distance relationships, solitary, sub-drop, suggestions, top-drop | 20 Comments

Safe Words and Responsible Authorship

by Harper Eliot Posted on 11/04/2012

The first article of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is rarely quoted in full. We often hear: All human beings are born free and equal (in dignity and rights). This opening line is, of course, extremely important. The question … Continue reading →

Posted in Blogging, Kink, Fetish, BDSM & Other Transgressive Sexualities, Philosophy, Politics, & Society, Relationships & Dating, Writing/Writing Exercises | Tagged BDSM, blogging, control, debate, Discerning Dom, discussion, Dominance, Ds, kink, power, safe words, Sex, Submission | 2 Comments

The (Female) Phenomenon of Emotional Masochism

by Harper Eliot Posted on 07/09/2011

It has been said, in various different ways, by several clever people, that where men are intellectual, women move in “curves of emotion”. Of course, there are exceptions to this statement, and there are those who purposefully try to bring … Continue reading →